Thursday, September 25, 2008

"We will only rest after defeating LTTE" says Army Chief

"We will only rest after defeating LTTE and till then our campaign will continue", Army Chief Lt. General Sarath Fonseka, was quoted saying during the launch of 'Wanni Satana', a book written by Defence Columnist, Tissa Ravindra Perera at the National Library and Documentation Services Board on Thursday(25).
"The Army will fire its first rounds towards Kilinochchi town by next week, as troops are some four kilometers away from Kilinochchi," said Lt. General Fonseka further adding that, "we can even see some of the buildings in the town."
"They even said that the Eelam war-IV would come to Colombo. But now we can see our forces taking the war to Kilinochchi and now the LTTE Leader is like a caged animal," he said.
"When we commenced of the liberation of the east in 2006, some had said, we can't do it. But we have proved we can, and our forces are near the heart of Kilinochchi," he said.
"We have done our duty during last two years as promised," Lt. Gen Fonseka said, adding, "we need the support of the media institutes, for the sake of the country and to show we are strong enough to stand by ourselves."
Also speaking at the occasion, Air Force Commander Roshan Goonetilake said, that the Air Force would continue to hunt for the LTTE Leader.
"We are getting intelligence and information about the whereabouts of Prabhakaran; we will continue with our raids, targeting those hideouts", he said.
Earlier, the author had published two books about the ongoing military campaigns. Director General of the Civil Defence Force (CDF), Rear Admiral Sarath Weerasekara was also present at the occasion.
In addition, a dedicated web site for 'war Heroes' (www.srilankanwarheroes.com) was re-launched at the event.

"We will only rest after defeating LTTE" says Army Chief

"We will only rest after defeating LTTE and till then our campaign will continue", Army Chief Lt. General Sarath Fonseka, was quoted saying during the launch of 'Wanni Satana', a book written by Defence Columnist, Tissa Ravindra Perera at the National Library and Documentation Services Board on Thursday(25).
"The Army will fire its first rounds towards Kilinochchi town by next week, as troops are some four kilometers away from Kilinochchi," said Lt. General Fonseka further adding that, "we can even see some of the buildings in the town."
"They even said that the Eelam war-IV would come to Colombo. But now we can see our forces taking the war to Kilinochchi and now the LTTE Leader is like a caged animal," he said.
"When we commenced of the liberation of the east in 2006, some had said, we can't do it. But we have proved we can, and our forces are near the heart of Kilinochchi," he said.
"We have done our duty during last two years as promised," Lt. Gen Fonseka said, adding, "we need the support of the media institutes, for the sake of the country and to show we are strong enough to stand by ourselves."
Also speaking at the occasion, Air Force Commander Roshan Goonetilake said, that the Air Force would continue to hunt for the LTTE Leader.
"We are getting intelligence and information about the whereabouts of Prabhakaran; we will continue with our raids, targeting those hideouts", he said.
Earlier, the author had published two books about the ongoing military campaigns. Director General of the Civil Defence Force (CDF), Rear Admiral Sarath Weerasekara was also present at the occasion.
In addition, a dedicated web site for 'war Heroes' (
www.srilankanwarheroes.com) was re-launched at the event.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Grounds For Custody

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, "Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

Blondes Changing A Light Bulb

Three blondes got together to change a light bulb. Then one of them calls 911.Blonde: "We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb."Operator: "Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?"Blonde: "Yes."Operator: "The power in the house in on?"Blonde: "Of course."Operator: "And the switch is on?"Blonde: "Yes, yes."Operator: "And the bulb still won't light up?"Blonde: "No, it's working fine."Operator: "Then what's the problem?"Blonde: "We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves!"

How to Make a Woman Happy

Wednesday, May 21, 2008, 02:03 PMPosted by AdministratorIt's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:1. a friend2. a companion 3. a lover4. a brother5. a father6. a master7. a chef8. an electrician9. a carpenter10. a plumber11. a mechanic12. a decorator13. a stylist14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist17. a pest exterminator18. a psychiatrist19. a healer20. a good listener21. an organizer22. a good father23. very clean24. sympathetic25. athletic 26. warm27. attentive28. gallant29. intelligent30. funny31. creative32. tender33. strong34. understanding35. tolerant36. prudent37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true42. dependable43. passionate44. compassionateWITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 45. give her compliments regularly46. love shopping47. be honest48. be very rich49. not stress her out50. not look at other girlsAND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes.....IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 54. Never to forget:* birthdays* anniversaries* arrangements she makes andHOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:1. Show up naked...2. Bring Alcohol...
The Survey
"Good afternoon madame. My name is Walter and I am with W.O.O.P radio station, better know as WOO-P. Perhaps you have heard about us".
The elderly lady squinted over her glasses and in a squeaky voice slowly answered "yes I have".
"Today I am talking to people on the street. Do you mind if I ask you a few personal questions? You don't have to answer if you don't want to".
"I really don't mind" she said.
"Would you mind telling our listening audience how old you are?"
"I will be 97 next month".
"My goodness that is wonderful. How long have you been a widow?"
"I'm not a widow young man-----".
"You mean to tell me that your husband is still alive?"
"He sure is".
"How old is he?"
"109" she answered.
"I have also wanted to ask an older couple a very personal question but I must tell you that it is of a very delicate nature. What our listening audience is waiting to hear is the answer to the question do you and your husband have mutual climax?"
She thought for a moment and replied "no I think we have State Farm!!!"

Joke

Duck Food?
A duck walks into a store and says "Got any duck food?" The store manager tells the duck, "Get outta here, we don't serve ducks and we don't have any duck food."
The next day the duck is back again asking "Got any duck food?" The store manager says, "I told you yesterday we don't have any duck food!!", and kicks the duck out again.
Third day, same thing. "Got any duck food?" Store manager says "If you come in here asking for duck food again, I'm gonna nail your webbed feet to the floor!!!!"
Sure enough, next day the duck walks in the store and right up to the store manager, "You got any nails???" The store manager says "NO!!!!" The duck then says "Good, you got any duck food????"

Joke Stories

NEW BRIDE
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here, put these on." She did, and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants," she said. "That's right!!" said the husband, "and don't you
forget it! I'm the one who wears the pants in this family!"

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them as far as his kneecap. He said, "Hell, I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right! And that's the way it's gonna be until your stinking attitude changes!"

Tuesday, September 2, 2008